I am not easily offended. It’s not that folks aren’t saying things that could offend me, I’m just not picking up the offense and holding onto it.
Some take offense where none is intended.
Some actually look for offense on purpose to support a preconceived notion about the other person.
Some grab up an offense and hoard it, a reason to withhold trust and push others away.
All of this is a crap way to live.
Offenses Are Everywhere
The truth is that people will offend you, on purpose or on accident. It’s gonna happen. Big offenses, little offenses.
But YOU get to decide whether to take offense and I want to encourage you to start dealing with them differently.
When someone says or does something you find offensive, you can make like a duck and let it roll off your back. Imagine that you’re an elastic super hero and flex away from the offense – just don’t let it land on you! You can do it if you will do it.
Assume the Best.
Did she really mean to cut you down like that or was she simply unaware of how it would make you feel? Choose to believe the best about her. Wouldn’t you want others to believe the best about you?
Whether an offense is accidental, inconsiderate or downright mean spirited you need to find a way to forgive the offender. Holding on to unforgiveness is a sure way to become bitter and unhappy. You’re hurting yourself, not the other person.
Consider praying this simple prayer: “Father God, I forgive ____ for ___________. I forgive ____ for making me feel _____________. Please bless ___ and show me how to move on…”
- For example: “Father God, I forgive Trina for leaving me out of her wedding. I forgive her for making me feel unimportant and left out. Please bless Trina and show me how to move on with our friendship.”
It may be emotional and difficult to go through but it is ultimately a freeing experience.
Maybe you’re going to want to let the person know you’ve forgiven them, but maybe not – pray about that too.
Let it Go!
When you forgive someone, you choose to let the offense go. You put it down and walk away from it forever. Forgiving someone doesn’t ensure that they’ll never hurt you again – resist the urge to run back and pick old offenses up. You’ll undo all of your good work and make things worse.
Just Let It Go! Yes it will be hard! Ask God to give you the grace to do it and I believe He will certainly do so.