When to Start?

It still amazes me how one little conversation with my children can start entire thought processes – thoughts that often seem totally unrelated to the original conversation.

A few weeks ago as we were sitting down at the table to begin our afternoon of school work, I started by sharing several prayer requests.  This is a typical start to our school day, so it was nothing unusual.  But, one of the prayer requests sparked quite a response.  The prayer request was for some people from a sister church who were trying to pull everything together for a mission trip to Poland.

Just to give you a little background, our family is very much drawn to Poland.  Both of my girls would love to take a foreign mission trip, but five-year-old Angela wants nothing more than to hop on a plane and head to Poland.  I’m not sure she begins to comprehend what such a trip would involve or entail, but she’s ready to go!

When I mentioned that we needed to pray for these people who were trying to raise money and work out the details for their mission trip, Angela burst into tears.  When I asked her why she was crying, her answer was simple…”I want to go!”

Her older sister immediately began to process ways to comfort her.  With bright eyes and excitement in her voice, Olivia said, “Maybe we could pray that God would show us ways we could be involved even without actually going with them!  Then it would be like we were there, too!”

My first thought was one of pride that my seven-year-old would think of that.  But, my second thought was a sudden realization that we had already been involved, claiming that we were doing it as a family, but the girls had no idea what we had done!

I explained to the girls that God had given us a chance to help out with some of the fundraising, and they were exceedingly excited.  Their response made me process even further.  How much should we be including them in our family’s financial decisions?

Now, I know a five and seven year old are not wise enough to be major financial decision makers, but by default, we exclude them from having a part in our finances because of their ages.  Through the course of their childhood, we are supposed to be teaching them how to manage their finances God’s way.  Are we supposed to wait until we can trust them with a checkbook to start teaching them financial principles and involving them in family finances?

Looking back over my childhood, I realize that my parents were excellent stewards of their money.  They managed it well, tithed freely, and gave obediently.  But, I also look back and see very little in the way of teaching.  Yes, they taught me how to tithe and instructed me to stay out of debt.  But, a lot of specifics were missing.  Giving to our special denominational missions offerings was never a family affair.  Mom never showed me how she worked out our family budget and evaluated how and when we could afford those “extras.”  In fact, I often wondered how staying out of debt worked with our family’s occasional shopping and spending sprees, especially considering my parents’ low income.  I never was taught how to determine what to do about savings and at what point savings needed to be set aside in favor of the immediate needs of our family.  Mom never showed me how she prioritized or determined amounts.

To be honest, those things would have been very helpful to me.  Over the course of our marriage my husband and I have learned a lot about finances and how to manage them, but we’ve also made a lot of mistakes.  We’ve incurred debt partially due to our desire for certain “stuff” and partially because we hadn’t been taught how to do money God’s way, trusting Him when we had a specific and pressing need that we didn’t think we could afford except by handing over that credit card (and truly distinguishing between wants and pressing needs).  Over the past couple of years, we have made some very solid strides, learned so  many things, and  seen God bless in phenomenal ways.  But, I sometimes wonder…if we’d been specifically and intentionally taught some of the things we’ve learned in our marriage, where would we be today financially?

I don’t want my children to have to flounder through following the example we’re trying to set.  I want them to live out tried and true principles that they’ve been taught!  So, thanks to a little conversation with two sweet little girls, my  husband and I are rethinking family involvement in finances.  And we will continue rethinking and reevaluating through each phase of their lives that they may truly learn rather than vaguely observe!