Spilled Milk

One Wednesday afternoon a few weeks ago, I spilled a cup of milk.  I was bustling along quickly, putting too many items on the small kitchen table, and not thinking or paying attention.  So, a chain of events led to one of my three lidded straw cups of milk carreening to the floor.

Ah, such things do happen, don’t they?  No big deal!  But, it’s amazing how God can speak so clearly through those “little things” that sometimes just happen!

I quickly chided myself for my carelessness and then proceeded to clean up the mess.  But, as I cleaned, the thought occurred to me, “What if that had been one of the kids?  How would I have reacted?”

When I made the mess, I knew my thoughts, intentions, and actions.  I could put them all together and realize that the spill was truly an accident.  If I had just thought about moving the cups – or even been warned to move the cups – and hadn’t done it, then it wouldn’t have been an accident.  But, in this situation, it was an honest to goodness accident.

I don’t often give my children the same consideration.  Many times I lump all of their actions into one big category of intentionality.  If they make a mistake, it’s got to be because they were being disobedient, not paying attention, being overly hyper, or fighting.  So often I forget that sometimes things just happen.  Sometimes it truly is an accident!

Personally I must confess that sometimes I am so thankful to have a Father who knows my thoughts and judges me by my heart instead of my actions (although there are other times when that is a bit frightening!).  Unfortunately, I don’t quite have His skills of reading minds and seeing the intent of the hearts of my children.  Or do I?

In the New Testament God establishes Himself as our Father.  In doing that, He sets Himself up as our perfect standard for parenting.  If He is going to set the standard, then He is definitely going to equip us to do what He has led us to do as parents.

So, short of mind-reading, what tools can we use to truly discern the hearts of our children?

First of all, we can truly pay attention.  Matthew 6:8 tells us that our “Father knows what you need before you ask Him.”  Do we pay that much attention to our children?  Do we know what they need simply by watching them go through life?  Our children need to be able to rely on us to be aware of what’s going on in their little lives.

Secondly, we can be dependable. Romans 4:21 tells us that we can be “fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.” We are supposed to come to our Father like little children, knowing that He will provide our every need without fail, just as He promised the children of Israel.

As parents can our children rely on us in the same way?  If we say we’re going to do something, can they trust us to remember and follow through, or are they required to take it upon themselves to remind us continually as we get distracted by other aspects of life?  We are obviously not perfect and we will falter, but our children need to be able to rely on us to keep our commitments to them.

Finally, we can teach.  Matthew 5:2 introduces the famous Sermon on the Mount by saying that Jesus “opened His mouth and began to teach them.”  We cannot expect our children to have right motives if we don’t teach them.  We can’t expect them to follow God’s principles if we don’t encourage them to be written on their young hearts.  We have to be the teachers.  The best way to teach is to know it ourselves!

Just the other day, my girls and I were exceedingly convicted as we all three sat down to our memory verse of the week.  This verse, chosen years ago by a curriculum writer to be placed in this particular week of home school curriculum fit perfectly and challengingly into our day.  God’s Word is alive and active, and is the only perfect parenting tool available.  We must use it actively!

Needless to say, I’ve been trying to go a little deeper since my spilled mild incident and not simply discipline my children based on their actions .  Will you join me in knowing the hearts and “reading the minds” of our little blessings?