Self Confidence is probably one of the biggest struggles we as women have. Many women suffer from approval addiction, have a poor self image or simply don’t value themselves as a woman. Perhaps there has been some sort of abuse as a child that has caused this or someone told them once that they weren’t pretty or that they were stupid. Has this happened to you? I know for a fact that being sexually abused as a child destroyed my self esteem and it has followed me into my adult years.
Now that I am an adult, I have overcome many of my struggles with my self confidence, though some areas I’m still working on.
As a child, I was pretty shy and withdrawn because I didn’t want people to know what my step-dad was doing to me. I didn’t make friends easily, although I wanted to and didn’t feel shy inside. But, now, looking back, I can see the marks the sexual abuse left on me.
I also suffered a very poor self image. I always thought I was fat even though I when I graduated I only weighed 125 pounds which was a great weight for my height and stature. Friends also influenced the poor self image in me. My two best friends were thinner than I. One of them struggled to gain weight and the other worked out constantly and was very self conscious about her weight. If she gained 1 pound, she would be out running it off.
Lack of self confidence is not only an issue about how we look, but it also affects our speech, writing, how we present ourselves in social situations and other areas of life. So, how do we overcome a low self esteem or lack of self confidence?
I’m going to give you some of the tools I’ve used to help me over come my struggles with low self esteem and low self confidence.
The first one is God’s Word. The Scriptures are so full of God’s love for us and when we know how God views us and how much He loves us, we no longer need approval from humans. So start reading God’s Word daily and learn how he sees you. One amazing scripture to help you with this is the 139th Psalm. One of my daily devotions encourages women to read it everyday for a month and I want to encourage you to do the same. Doing this one simple act can really change the way you see yourself because you will begin to see yourself as God sees you.
The next tool is The Confident Woman by Joyce Meyer. In The Confident Woman, Joyce teaches us how to overcome low self confidence by using God’s Word.
Captivating by Staci and John Eldredge. When we understand why we are the way we are as women, we can overcome low self esteem and start viewing ourselves differently.
Start journaling your feelings and begin praying for God to reveal to you how he knows you and sees you. You can overcome low self esteem and low self confidence by placing your confidence in God and trusting in His love for you. It won’t happen overnight though. It will take work and diligence and you will probably have to refresh what you’ve learned once in a while.
I will be praying for each of the readers of this post. If you’d like personal prayer for overcoming lack of self confidence please leave your name and email in the comments and I or the other awesome women here at Women by Grace will be in touch with you to pray with you.
I ask that you pray for me. I have alot of issues and I believe that low-self-esteem is one of the layers in my onion. My self loathing has manifested itself into about a 2 to 3 month cycle of a night of binge drinking and self humilation. I can go weeks and months without touching alcohol then I say Oh what the heck, nothing is going to change and I pollute myself and invite the devil into my mind by checking out with the alcohol. I have spoken to the associate pastor at my church and we are meeting weekly so I have to be accountable week to week. I know I am not an alcoholic but I feel my drinking is a symptom of something inside of me (how I feel about myself). I remember thinking as a child I was like the other kids because we didn’t have money, my parents fought and separated alot, my mother has had mental issues (very apparent now) while I was younger and taught me to always have a man to complete myself, at times my parents fights would become physical and I witnessed them, I have been told by family members I was fat and ugly, boys really didn’t like me the way they liked other girls, ……..I have since married multiple times since the age of 19. I only have one child but am not with his father (his father is very active in his life and we all get along very well) I am remarried to an older man but of course he does drink and has been verbally abusive to me. He has said our marriage was a mistake and etc…….I have too become verbally abusive to him and others especially the times I drink and I am very embarrassed of myself. I know this is the cycle/lies of the devil to keep me in bondage. I want to live a victorious life to the Glory of God. I know God uses all things for good…..I am hoping my self-destructive ways will be behind me and I can be a good witness for the Lord. I know I am saved but do not want to struggle forever. I cannot do this on my own and have humbly admitted that I can only do this through the strength of God. Please pray for my faith to build and not to become discouraged in my daily walk. Thank you Kelly
Hi . Recently Gld helped me break up with a guy of Muslim faith. It was hard but inknew it was the right thing to do. Before Immet him I have been with other guys also. It has been a continuous cycle for me having that stamp of approval from guys. At the moment after breaking up I am trying to rebuild my life agai
with God. One thing I struggle with is low self esteem and confidence and I want to break free from this and truly wall in the beauty God called
Me to. I want to stop seeking approval off others. I know that in pretty and unique people always compliment me but it’s one thing for people to do that but another formme to actually believe it and walk in it . I just want to be free. Please pray for
Me.
Lots of prayer needs here! Lord I just lift up each of these women here and help them to know that they are under your care and keeping. And that through YOU they can have the strength and confidence they want and need. Help them to see themselves as you see them, as YOU created them to be. In Jesus Name, Amen
pray that God will show me to be a strong,confident woman. I recently found out that my husband of 16 years had been seeing another woman for a whole year. i’ve forgotten how to live, i have no confidence in myself, i feel lost, confused, extremely depressed, anxious thoughts, hurt, broken-hearted, suicidal at times. I’m scared of living. The worst part is that i blame myself for all that has happened i was molested at a very young age, then ran away with the first man who told me he would take care of me and never let anyone hurt me, again! well he left me for another woman, i then met an married my husband who i recently found out was cheating on me. When i was a young girl i promised that no man would ever hurt me, again in my life and so i never let anyone get close to me or neve showed my love for anyone, i truly love my husband but i neglected him, i was so cold to him, i don’t know how to love and this has caused me to get hurt time and time again. I’m afraid of opening up because i just knew that if he knew how much i loved him that he would take advantage of me and hurt me. the pain of being hurt is unbearable i love this man and i didn’t know how to love him, i pushed him away and he met someone else. we are trying to work things out but i’m lost the pain has taken over me. pray for me!
Dear Jesus,
You hear the cries of this broken hearted woman. Lord, show her your ways. Let her feel your love and know that YOU care for her more deeply than any earthly man ever could. And Father God, I ask that you fill her with your love and give her the strength, wisdom and confidence to get through this. Carry her through this very trying time, God, and let her know you will never hurt her nor allow her to be hurt. Father, show her how to be a loving wife and let her know how much YOU love her.
In Jesus name!
Amen
During school days i was a shy prson but when i started growing up i was detrmined to fight shyness and i was doing real good. But, it suddendly happen when i went back to my country (afica) after leaving in the uk for some years that i started to smell. I guess it must have been the africa weather. I did not notice it myself but it was the people around me who noticed it. During my two weeks stay it was full of embarrassment because people were trying not to breath around me and i kept hearing commen like what smells? .i also became sad and low,i guess i was depressed.
That became the beginning of my low selfseteem. Now after coming back to the UK, i was spending more time in the bathroom and took more care when it comes to taking care of myself. But because of my sensitivity which developed back in africa, whenever i get close to people sy on the bus i ALWAYS i mean ALWAYS checking for some sort of reactions. Its like buying a gorgeous dress and walking into a room and lookig for reactions.
Sometime people sort of try not to breathe where i am and sometimes theres nothing. If i get a bad reaction like covering noses, i just need one person out of 10 people to react to my smell, that is enough to give me a bad day. suddenly that happy girl and smiley girl would rush into the toilet and cry. I guess my problem is looking out for reactions to whatevr i do. I am a christian , i have prayed and i know GOD loves me but if there is any body that is going through what im going thru or has gone thru it, i employ them to reply me. I seriously need help and its more of controlling my thought rather than what is happening externally. God bless u.
this is quite lovely and i am sure going to do the psalm 139…..readung..
i lack confidence..i that i always feel someone is better than me and i never stand up to them even when they are doing something wrong…
im always trying to please others and i find it virtually impossible to voice my emotions*(especialy negative ones)….
so i always have people stepping on me and taking advantage of me in all kinds of ways…i wish i had the confidence to stand up to them
Pray for me,am a christian saved bt i suffer from lack of self confidence i want to overcome it ireally want to be closer to Jesus and to live in a holy sanctified life to have the courage to sacrifice what it’s useless in my life.God bless u i really want more thirst and hunger to search God so that he should reveal me his plans n how he really sees me.
Hello,
I need prayer because I have a lack of self-confidence and with that comes along self-esteem issues. I am nineteen years old and I am in a relationship with a boy that I wish to marry but with that there are problems. i just ask that you pray for me grow closer with the Lord in my walk and that I will be a strong, confident, and adventerous woman that God I cannot achieve that goal let me find Him.
hi ,am married with a 2 year old daughter, my husband is abusive emotionally and verbally and it has really affected me negatively,Please pray that I too will grow in confidence and see myself as God sees me. That I would live in the complete understanding of how much God loves me no matter what I say or do. That I would grow in his grace and love and give that to others. Thank you.
Thank you for this article. Please pray for me to grow confident and secure in God. I always thought confidence came from dressing well and looking good. And because of my skin disease my confidence and self-esteem was badly affected. Its so diificult for me to look people in the eye and to make friends because I’m always worried about what others are thinking of me. But then I see some girls who are not wearing trendy clothes and are dressed averagely and yet they are so beautiful and attractive i realise its because the are secure about themselves. So confidence is the best thing to wear and I want my confidence to be based in God. My parents have always criticised me for being shy and weak and I want to prove them wrong. I’m too scared …I’m scared i won’t become better and I won’t measure up to their standards. And I do a lot of negative self-talk. PLease pray for me.
Thanks for the Advice and for sharing your testimony !
I heard that this two book are really powerful and changed the life of my friends !
I’ll read it for this few months to come ! hehe
Thanks again and keep giving this blog alive ! So helpful !
Hi, I was abused by my Dad physically and mentally and I feel like that has influenced my confidence around guys, it’s not that I want to start dating but when I ignore them out of fear and shyness I feel like I am not showing God’s love and I feel horrible!. I WANT TO PROCLAIM to the world GOD LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE, but with guys I think are nice I create a shell to protect myself I curl up inside myself. Could you please pray and any bible verses would be great
I was sexually abused by my gynecologist my first visit when I was only 19. I didn’t know what to expect, as I was nieve and thought it was normal. My self esteem has been low every since. I always think I’m fat and no matter how I look, I think I’m unattractive. Could you please pray for me. I also have picked up anothe habit that is totally wrong and can’t seem to get control over it.
Please pray for me. I really need to work on my self esteem and confidence. I never realized it until I received my husband’s irritation with me. I first want to make God proud and then my husband
I find myself losing a lot of self-confidence in recent years, always wonder if I’ve done the right thing and whether I’ve done it well. I always feel that I’ve failed poorly at work and I’m inferior to all my colleagues even those who are at lower position than me. Recently, I feel that it has worsen and I lost all passion and motivation at work and doing things I used to feel passionate about.
I don’t know what causes it and why, but I’d appreciate prayers to help me regain my self-confidence.
Thanks.
I am a teenager and I have been struggling with the way I view myself for my whole life. I struggle and just feel like the things people do easily like just starting a conversation with someone I get a lot of anxiety and it feels like I am on a different planet sometimes cause things seem so easy for other people. I want to break free from how lowly I view myself and overcome my fear and anxiety feelings. It sucks when it feels like you are so afraid to do something wrong or not be approved that you don’t want to ask for help if you don’t understand or you don’t want to try something new because you already think your going to fail. It is also just upsetting when you have social anxiety and your heart beats really fast and you get so nervous sometimes you just mess everything up cause that feeling is so strong. Please pray for me that I can overcome all these obstacles. I don’t want to life my life controlled by fear and being timid
Hi. My name is Kendra! I have always struggled with body image issues and now I see God is trying to stop me from putting myself down .. or not liking what I look like. I need to heal from this. It hurts so bad seeing other girls filling out their clothes. They’re shorter so jeans look better on them.. my face is full of acne. I have always be the smallest of the bunch. I just need God’s guidance on how to just rest in His love & realize that I’m beautiful cause He created me. So just pray for me please. God bless. <3 (:
Wow! I could really use some help in the self confidence area. I have alienated everyone in my life to do I guess what I thought a good “Christian” wife should do. I thought that if I dropped everything for my rocky marriage that my commitment to my marriage would solve everything… or at least stop it from crumbling. I am 30 years old and now, my husband and I are separated. It has been a little over a week. And, i have no one to talk to… I have no one to have lunch with or go shopping with. I have no kids. I have a part time job that does not start for a few more weeks. I don’t even have a vehicle right now. I have nothing. I quit my very well paying, secure job to follow my fiancé (at the time, over 8 years ago). At the time, I was afraid of becoming a powerful, money hungry woman who controlled and manipulated men (I had done so with some ex-boyfriends). So I guess I thought this lifestyle would be better. I knew I wanted to be married and “have the good life” with kids, etc. But now, i have nothing but me and my prayers to God. I don’t even have a church family here. I have such low self confidence right now that I can barely recognize that I used to be a smart, well-put woman who had friends with a fun, demanding job. I have moved around so much with my husband (he is military) that I have no stable job or friends… or skills. I have tried to reconcile with my husband but he does not want to. Honestly, I knew all along that he preferred being the bachelor guy. Not sure why he asked me to marry him. Please pray for me… I am concerned that my low self-confidence will ruin the small job and school I have. I’m feel so alone that I am not even sure if anyone is going to read this. But just writing this… I need a miracle in all aspects of my life, maybe God will have favor on me and grant it.