May I Help You?

I have a friend who is, in my opinion, one of the most awesome mothers I know.  If she were to read this, she would probably laugh her sweet laugh and remind me of all of her shortcomings.  But since she is currently on an island in the Pacific without internet connection, I am free to brag on her to my heart’s content!

What is it that sets her in such high esteem in my mind?  She knows how to involve her kids in everything.  And, it shows!  Her kids absorb and learn new techniques with ease.  And, it’s a good thing, too, since God has lead them as a family to serve as missionaries on that Pacific island.  Her entire family has had to do a lot of learning over the past year!

Lately my freshly-turned eight-year-old has been begging to help.  She has always loved being a helper, but prior to this past year she has been content with the jobs I assigned to her.  The things I felt were age-appropriate.  The things I felt wouldn’t hinder my attempts to complete a task efficiently.  (Yes, I admit it – that’s the real issue here!  My efficiency.)

But lately she has not been satisfied with those tasks.  She is ready to cook a full meal all by herself.  She’s ready to vacuum the pool that we are taking care of for friends this summer.  She wants to do the big jobs.  She wants to conquer the grown-up tasks.  As the oldest of our three sweethearts, she is breaking out of certain childish things and is ready to start growing up.  She doesn’t want the plastic bowl and Tigger spoon for her breakfast anymore.  She wants grown-up dishes and silverware.  She wants to grow up.

I have to remind her continually that there are certain things she isn’t big enough for yet.  She is dreaming big dreams, but she still has some growing up to do.  She isn’t quite big enough physically to manuever the pool vacuum without falling into the pool.

On the other hand, I have to continually remind myself that she is, in fact, growing up.  There are certain things that she is grown up enough to do! Somehow I, as her mother, have to wisely guide her through these growing pains – the frustrations of wanting to do more but not being big enough; the frustrations of wanting to do more while trying to be patient in the learning; the frustrations of a mom who sometimes just doesn’t show enough patience to walk her through each new task or activity.

How thankful I am that I don’t have to find all of that wisdom within myself alone.  Not only does the Lord Himself guide me in parenting, but He has also granted me the blessing of other parents.  Parents who are better at some things than I am.  Parents I can watch – from whom I can learn.  Parents like my friend who, even from the Pacific, graciously allows me to learn from her.  Parents who somehow claim to be learning from me as well!

I hope this week to be a better teacher to my sweet daughter.  I hope to see her conquer a new skill.  And I hope to put aside just a bit more of my need to be efficient long enough to realize that there’s more to parenting than getting it all done quickly and properly.  Besides, is my goal to just get it all done?  Or is my goal to somehow prepare my daughter for that day when she’ll be doing it herself – and teaching her own child?

My awesome friend on that Pacific island learned that a long time ago…and I’m blessed to be learning now from her.