Living Diligence

Picture this scenario with me…

You’re a young mother of two school-age kids.  You have always worked to make sure they do their best in school.  They don’t have to make perfect grades, but it’s obvious to you when they slack off, and when they do you ensure that they are appropriately disciplined back to the point where they strive to do their best.  They have come to expect that from you.

Meanwhile, you work for a company that has offered to send you back to school.  It’s a great situation – you get the higher level of education that helps you get those promotions and good salaries, and your company gets an employee who is better equipped to do her job.

The greatest difficulty is that, well, you’re back in school.  Your brain doesn’t soak up information quite as well in your mid thirties as it did when you were in high school and college.  You have work.  You have kids.  And you really need some “me” time at some point through the day.  So, you slack a bit.  Your paper isn’t quite what you would consider your top work, but it’s acceptable.  Your assignments are okay.  But, there is that nagging thought in the back of your mind that even though your boss says all you have to do is pass, you know you could do so much more.

Then the test grades come in.  And you’ve not done well.  Two weeks in a row you’ve not done well.

The worst part?  Your kids know it!  In fact, your son looks at you and says, “Mom, you’re grounded!”

Tell me, how would you have responded to your son in that situation?

My first instinct would have been to chide him for being disrespectful to his mother!  But, in this real-life scenario, this woman was much wiser than that.  She told him he was right.  She “grounded” herself from unnecessary distractions and her grades came up!

As I listened to this friend share her story, I began to ponder how I live before my children.  When I hold them to certain standards, do they look at me and know I hold myself to the same standards?

Unlike this woman, I do not have a paying job.  I’m home with my children all day every day.  When I send them to do their morning chores before they play, do I make sure that I hold to the same standard?  Am I diligent to complete all of my household chores before I go to do my more optional daily activities, my “playing”?

Also unlike this woman, I  homeschool.  I’m not going back to school myself, but I have so many responsibilities related to homeschooling my children and always staying on top of their curriculum.  When I remind them to be diligent and not slack in their work, am I exemplifying that?  Do they see me prepared for school each day or floundering to make sure I have everything we need?  In those moments when they’re doing independent work, am I stealing away to do something I want to do or am I staying engaged so I can help them along at every moment?

Our children are watching us closely.  Their diligence or lack thereof mirrors our own.  If we seem to be having a time where we are struggling just to get them to maintain a basic level of diligence, the first thing we must do is look at our own diligence.  Are we living up to our own standards?  Are we maintaining proper diligence in our own lives?

Teaching our children doesn’t mean that we tell them what to do and then leave them to make their own decisions and deal with their own consequences.  Teaching our children means exemplifying life skills before them and living up to the standards we hold before them.  Success in parenting is born from this diligence!