Day Twelve: I’m Clean

I’ve been quiet here on the blog for a few days and that makes some people nervous.  They wonder if I’ve fallen off the wagon.

In this case, no news is good news – I’m clean and sober.  Sticking with the WW program day by day.

Have shed off the three pounds I put back on when the fast was over.  That’s nice to see.

Just wanted to let you know.

It Isn’t About Losing Weight

A thought came to me today and I looked forward to my sixth day of being ’sober’.

I stepped on the scale and saw a three pound weight gain.  It was no unexpected.  I knew the ten pounds I lost on my water fast was partly water that would come back when I started to eat again.

Still, I had thought that I might feel sad about the numbers.  The good news is that I did not.  I accepted them with peace in my heart.

This is no longer about losing weight.   It’s about facing a day without overeating.

Like an alcoholic has to face a day without drinking.

Like a crack addict has to face a day without crack.

The Fast is Over and the Battle Begins

I finished off my fast with some fruit late last night and this morning I settled back into Weight Watchers.  Funny how rich and delicious everything tastes after a few days without anything. (A contrast to the depression I usually feel when I have to eat ‘diet food’.)

I’m thinking of myself as being sober.  Like an alcoholic is sober when he isn’t drinking, I shall consider myself sober when I am not overeating.

This is a different way of looking at things – a more serious way really.

So right this minute, I am five days sober.

And it feels good.

Water Fasting: Day Four

Today has been easier.  No headache.  No cramping.  I have a little more energy but did not feel like I could work for long without my mind wandering so I took the day off.

I’m going to end the water fast in the morning.  I feel ready to move on.  I’m going to pick up some fruits and veggies and do juices/raw tomorrow.

My goal after that is to stay ’sober’ from overeating.  I’m going to head back onto the Weight Watchers program.  I’ve prayed about whether I’m supposed to give up sugar or wheat but nothing like that settles true for me.  Weight Watchers guides me to healthy balances in the right serving sizes.  It sits right.

According to the scale, I’ve lost ten pounds.  That’s surely mostly water but I’ll be curious to see if I gain anything as I start eating again.

I’ll post about my juicing tomorrow

Water Fasting: End of Day Three

Through most of today I’ve been tired.  Sometimes it feels like too much effort just to sit upright.  I’m glad I haven’t had to do anything constructive.

Headache, some cramping, something like hunger.

Have lost six pounds.

I’m a little worried about tomorrow when I have to be functional for a lot of the day.  If I feel like this, I won’t get very far.  Don’t have any clarity about anything I’m praying for so I don’t want to stop.

At this point I think I’d rather claim an extra day off than end the fast earlier than it should be ended.

Please keep praying for me!

Water Fasting: End of Day Two

Today I’ve had a lot of headaches and stomach rumbles.  Typical for day two of a water fast.

I’ve been tired a lot.  Took two naps.  Feel foggy – but good.

You’ll be glad to know that I didn’t abuse Sean today.  In fact, we barely saw each other between my naps and his work.

Lost two pounds.

I am fasting and praying for healing and spiritual breakthrough. I have a health issue I believe fasting can have a powerful impact on.  I am seeking God’s touch.

I also want to change my relationship with food.

Actually, I want to break up with it.  Food is not my friend and it’s time for me to stop treating it like one.  I want to make food my slave – instead of the other way around.

Please keep me in your prayers.

Closing in on Midnight

It’s almost midnight here on the first day of my fast.  So far it’s a water fast.  I’m still undecided about whether I’ll introduce fresh juice. I don’t have a length goal though I admit I would like to last quite a bit longer than the last water fast I did.  Three weeks sounds great – but I’m not ready to declare that LOL!

I took a long nap – and plan on lots of wonderful long naps in the coming days and weeks.  (Not that that is a big change for me – but when you’re fasting you need to give your body a lot of rest and renewal.)

I wasn’t hungry until just an hour or so ago so it hasn’t been too harsh on me physically – but emotionally, the journey has had a bumpy start.

I mentioned earlier that I was feeling weepy.  I asked my son to run to the PO for me and when he said no I nearly cried about it and called him a name.  It wasn’t a nice name either. Not a proud moment. I went to my room to get dressed to go myself and the thought of putting clothes on was so overwhelming I just sat there feeling sorry for myself.  Sean had a change of heart and went for me.  After I apologized for calling him a name.

The post office is just around the corner by the way.  It’s not like I was having to make a trip accross town.  Silly huh?

I’ve learned from past fasts that I have to give myself a lot of leeway and forgiveness – but I’m giving myself a stern talking to right now.  It’s not acceptable for my son to suffer abuse in the process.

Again, I ask for your prayers and encouragement.  I need it.

Starting a Spiritual Fast

I am in a ‘grouchy on the edge of weepy’ mood right now.  It’s 3pm in the afternoon and I haven’t had anything to eat today.

It’s not because I’ve been too busy to eat or because there isn’t anything good in the fridge. (There is plenty.)

It is because last night I set my heart on starting a fast. (Haven’t quite decided yet whether it will be a water fast or a fresh juice fast.)

I wondered as I fell asleep if I would remember when I woke up.  I wondered if I would feel the same way in the light of morning and hunger pangs.

I did remember and I do still feel the same.

I ate pretty late last night, so hunger is just now starting to show itself.

I’m nervous.  I have fasted meat for as long as five months but my longest water fast was just five days.   I would like to fast much longer this time.

I’m fasting for a spiritual breakthrough.  I’ll share more later.

For now, I would really appreciate your prayers and encouragement.

Does Anyone Hear Her: Casting Crowns

A New Hallelujah: Michael W Smith

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