Joyful Discipline

This morning my eight year old Olivia walked into my room and said, “Thank you, Mommy, for helping me find new things to wear.”

I just kind of looked at her, confused. All I could think was, I haven’t helped you pick out clothes in ages! What are you talking about? As if reading my thoughts, she began to explain.

Let me give you a little background. My girls love skirts and dresses. Some days I am convinced that if they never again owned a pair of pants of any sort again, they would never miss them! Yesterday Olivia was dressed in the most adorable outfit – a knee-length straight black skirt with flowers embroidered along the bottom and a pretty cream-colored knit blouse. She looked precious in it!

But there was one problem. Olivia still has not matured to the point of showing modesty without being reminded. All day yesterday there we were, trying to have school with Olivia not caring in the least how she was sitting – or rather, sprawling. So, repeatedly throughout the day I was forced to remind her to pull her skirt down and sit right.

Finally, I gave her an ultimatum – be responsible and modest, or be denied dresses and skirts for a week. She lost the dresses and skirts.

This morning when she walked in, the fact that she was not supposed to wear a dress or skirt was far from my mind, but not from hers. Because of the discipline, she had to be a little more creative about what to wear. And she was thanking me for it!

Today Olivia is living out several principles of Scripture. First, she is living the principle of accepting discipline as an expression of love found in Proverbs 3:11-12 and elsewhere. She has accepted it joyfully.

How often do I respond that way? I pout and fuss when I am being disciplined! I know it is for my good, but that is not my response. Instead, I want to buck the discipline and complain about it. Oh that I would accept discipline as just what it is – a show of beautiful love of my Father!

Secondly, Olivia is living out the principle of rejoicing in all things. Olivia could have pouted all morning about not being able to wear skirts and dresses. In fact, she could choose to pout all week. Instead she found reason to rejoice in her discipline – reason to say “thank you.”

We recently read about a woman named Joy Ridderhof who determined that she would rejoice in all things. What a powerful life she lived, serving the Lord with great rejoicing! After years of living in this way, friends and acquaintances would comment that they were sometimes unsure whether she was talking to them or her precious Lord because of the free flow of joyful interaction she shared with her Savior Jesus Christ.

Olivia is, at the tender age of eight, trying to take a first small step in that same direction. As her mother, I have the ability to encourage that mindset or squelch it. If I would determine to live the same way, what kind of example would that set for her? What type of woman would she be at my age?

I want to find out! And, I want to find out what living that way will do to my own growth and character. Rejoice in all things. Receive discipline knowing that it is granted in love. And see what beauty the Lord can create.

While I’m Waiting…

I marvel sometimes at the way God speaks to me.

I don’t hear a loud booming voice shouting out my name as I cower in fear,

It is in the whirlwind of my every day life of wife, mom and aspiring writer that I hear that “still, small voice” speaking to me…

I heard it again today so very clearly.

A sweet Christian friend – an online Christian friend – and I have been mulling the idea of an online partnership – a venture in faith as it were – for several weeks now.  We had a serious discussion one afternoon and it appeared that all lights were green and we were “GO” on the project.

She later emailed me to say that she felt like God was telling her to wait.  That she had other priorities and needed to hear from Him more on the subject.

In the meantime, I began dreaming (literally) and having a vision placed in my heart about this project in a way that surprised me, really.  I was surprised by the continuous dreams at night that would awaken me at 2:00 a.m. with an overwhelming desire to write out lists and begin mapping out these plans.

Even during the day, I began having more conscious thoughts and ideas, and started recording them and outlining several thoughts.

And again, she and I met for a discussion online and began moving in a more purposeful direction towards that goal.  I was THRILLED to be visiting the idea with her again and praising God for the way He was bringing it back into my life.

And then I heard it.  That still, small voice saying, “STOP!”

“What?  Are you talking to me, God?”

I was just mulling over some of the specifics of our conversation, preparing to make a new list when I heard the voice.

“Stop!”

Okay.  So I’ll wait to write my list, I thought.

As I sat quietly I heard, “No.  I said Stop.”

“Okay, Lord – I don’t get this.  She & I would make the perfect team.  She & I have these amazing ideas together and feel like You have had a hand in this.  I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night with my mind spinning out ideas and having clarity during the day putting them onto paper! We have each prayed over this individually, and now that we’ve come together and discussed some details, you’re telling me to stop?”

Silence.

So, now I am waiting.

Not for God to change His mind.  But for Him to speak to me again.  Clearly.  Show me the purpose for my dreams. Reveal my next step.

Maybe He just wants me to dream bigger dreams for myself, for my family – and not use them in a ministry online.

Maybe timing isn’t right and we’d be biting off more than we could chew.

Maybe He just doesn’t want us to do this project together.

I don’t  know.  I’m perplexed a bit.

God knows.  So even though I am perplexed, I am “not in despair” (2. Cor. 4:8).

I am just waiting.

And while I am waiting, I will still serve Him.

Debbie is a believer in Jesus, wife to the love of her life, and mom of 2 amazing, energetic princesses. She is an avid coffee and tea lover, enjoys Christian fellowship in person or online, and is the editor of the women’s ministry newsletter at her church.  She can be found blogging at The Queen Mommy’s Cafe, often with a full cup in hand…

Training Them Up

We struggle in the mornings.  There are chores that just really need to be done, and I have three children perfectly capable of helping.  They all have a wide array of chores they are capable of doing, even down to my sweet three-year-old who can help load the washer and dryer, put away silverware, gather trash cans from around the house for emptying – and return them – and make his own bed.  The girls can do even more.

The problem is not in what they are capable of – it’s in what they are willing to do.  For quite some time it’s been an intense battle to get them to complete their chores efficiently.

As a homeschooling family, we have had to reevaluate our daily schedule this summer.  I have realized that school is going to take a little more time this year than last year.  That means we had to come up with a schedule that would keep us on top of our daily responsibilities while still allowing some time for free play.  Accomplishing that means setting a time limit on chores.

We are starting the new school year on Monday.  So, we’ve spent this week trying to get in the habit of our new schedule.  Day one didn’t start off so well – not so well at all – until I called in reinforcements.

“What reinforcements?” you ask!

PROVERBS

Yep, you read right – I pulled out the book of Proverbs.

My husband and I have committed to reading through Proverbs monthly.  As there are 31 chapters in Proverbs, it fits quite well to read a chapter a day each month.  As we have read and reread, God has opened our eyes to so many things!

I pulled the girls aside and shared the concept of   Proverbs 13:4 with them.  The Proverbs reads, “The slacker craves, yet has nothing, but the diligent is fully satisfied.”  I explained that when we are diligent, we get what we desire (for them, play time!), but when we slack, even what we think we have will be gone.

My eight-year-old looked at me with eyes wide.  “The Bible really says that?” she asked.  She knows enough to know that God’s Word is true.  Period.  So, she knows enough to take that at face value.

And that took care of it.  From that point on, the girls have chosen diligence in their work.  I know we will still have battles, but in the first couple of days, they not only finished their own chores, but then moved in to help with mine.

I have so much to learn when it comes to training my children up in the Word of God.  There are so many ways I fail.  But, our home has been cleaner and more peaceful this week because of the Word of God.  That’s a strong motivator to continue working in that direction.  The Word of God is powerful!