Holding His Hand

How many times have you as a parent, grandparent, aunt, older sibling, or close family friend held the hand of a little child and walked along with him?  There’s something absolutely precious about holding that little hand.  Suddenly a wobbly toddler begins walking in confidence.  A little boy who is nervous about that big jump takes a bold leap.  An excited little one is able to devote her attention to the wonders around her while each step is guided by the protecting hand of a trusted adult.

Recently I was reminded of a passage from Psalm 27.  It reads:

The steps of a man are established by the LORD,
And He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,
Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand. (Psalms 37:23-24 NASB)

Can you just picture the Lord holding our hands in the same way that we hold the hands of our children? 

• We guide their steps, as He guides ours.
• We are so excited and delighted with their enthusiasm for life and for the things they see around them.  He delights in our learning journey.
• When they start to fall, our hands are already on them.  Although they might scratch their knees, they don’t take a headlong plunge and experience serious injury, because we’re already right there!  We’re also ready to comfort immediately.  He is right there for us.  We are not promised to escape pain altogether, but His hand is already upon us – He’s right there to ease our falls and immediately pick usup and pull us into His arms.

Parenting is one of the many pictures of God’s love for us.   And, oh it is a beautiful one.  Each time I try to begin to fathom that He loves me infinitely more than I love my own children, I am astounded and humbled.

Are You Embracing Your Change

Every now and then life throws you a curve ball. You have a choice to hit a home run or foul out. Hitting the home run is not always an easy feat.

The ball may come too fast you don’t see it or it may come so slow that when you hit it is an automatic out. Then there comes the moment when you hit the ball and you start running to home plate. It is at this moment that you run for toward the prize…a home run!

Before you reach that pinnacle of joy, you must first get past the hurdles. First base is where you find out if you have what it takes to really get around the bend. Second base is your challenge of waiting for the end to come near. The third base is where you see the way to go and home…well home is the place of sheer joy.

Change is seldom easy and very challenging. The challenge lies in how you handle the change that is thrown your way. How do you take the moments handed to you during the change? How do you deal with the dust that flies in your face? How do you focus as the challenge comes your way?

God never intended for life to stop when the ball comes our way. It is His not intention to allow a challenge in our lives so that we cower in corner and give up. We don’t serve a God that gives up, so why would He want His children to give up.

God’s desire is for you to embrace the change. Take it, work through it, work with it, and live your best life in spite of and because of.

Sister…EMBRACE YOUR CHANGE!

Playful Learning

My two-year-old and I have a game we love to play.  I love to kiss his belly.  There’s just something so sweet and precious about that poochy little belly!  Getting that “belly kiss” as well call it has turned into this little game…

“May I have a belly kiss?”

“No!” (with a huge grin)

“Please?”

“No!” (a cackle)

“Pleeeeease?”

“A little one.” (pulls up his shirt just a tad and lets me give him a little kiss)

“Now a big one!” (huge grin – pulls his shirt all the way up for a big kiss)

It’s a precious little game that he and I both love.  But, the other day I discovered that it might need to be changed just a bit.

You see, Steven was learning a lot from this game.  He was learning how to ask me for things he wanted!  He began coming up to me and making his request.  If I said no, he would say, “Please?”  If I said no again, he would give me a big, huge, pleading (and precious), “Pleeeease?”  When I still said no, he would get quite upset.

At first it just irritated me that he wouldn’t accept my answer.  But, then it occurred to me that he was following my example! He was just doing what I’d taught him to do in our play time!

Ouch!

Our kids learn from every thing we do.  They learn from our actions, our words, our play, our work, our procrastination, our attention, our distraction – every little or big thing.  How often do we slip in our attentiveness to what we say and do?  How often do we teach our little ones without even thinking about it!

We’ve changed our game.  I still ask for that sweet belly kiss, and if he says yes immediately, I gladly accept the kiss.  If he says no, I say, “Yes, sir,  I accept your answer.”  The first time I responded that way, he just looked at me as if I’d ruined his day!  He quickly offered me a big huge belly kiss!  Since then, though, he’s caught on, and the fun of our little game has returned.  Only now it’s a little game that is teaching him how he needs to respond when I answer “no” to his requests.  And guess what?  He’s slowly beginning to change his behavior!

Even as we play…

What Do You Dwell On?

When you are dwelling in the negative you cannot win. Nothing you do will work out right because that is the way you have trained your mind to think. Negativity clouds godly wisdom and the sound mind he has given you. Your thought process runs your life; and if you are negative then…well…let’s take it to the word. A Simple yet profound verse in Scripture states As a man thinketh in his heart so he is.

So what are you? How do you think? What dwells in your heart?

Negativity brings unnecessary DRAMA. Let me repeat that Negativity brings unnecessary DRAMA!

How much junk is going on in your life that does not need to need be there?

Now let me say that the negativity not only dwells from the inside but it can be all around you as well. Who or what in your life is a positive energy drainer? In other words who or what clouds your godly wisdom and the sound mind you were blessed with.

If you want to find out more about your authentic self, you have got change that negative mind set. Be transformed into a more viable alive abundant you by no longer conforming to the ways of this world but by Renewing your mind so that you will be able to prove and be a witness to what is good and what is acceptable and what is perfect in the will of God for your life and those whom you will serve through your calling.

Instead of dwelling on the negative, my sister whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

Overcoming Unforgiveness

Last week our Pastor gave a really good sermon on unforgiveness and what it does to the person holding onto it, and there was some very interesting points I thought would be great to share here. I didn’t take notes, so forgive me if I don’t get all the exactly the way he laid them out, but I will do my best.

This message was part of his sermon series called “Junk in your Trunk” and unforgiveness is certainly junk in your trunk. When you hold onto unforgiveness, the only person you’re hurting is yourself. God’s word says in Matt. 5:23 to reconcile any differences with a brother before going to God at the altar. This shows us that we need to take care of any issues we may have with someone, before we go to God.

Illness, disease and pain have often been traced back to unforgiveness against someone. When you hold onto unforgiveness, it eats away at your soul, but does nothing to the person you refuse to forgive. Maybe you have experienced this at one time or another. Perhaps someone did something so horrible to you that you couldn’t forgive them for a long time and every time you thought of that person or thought of what they did to you, you felt hatred or anger boiling up inside you. But, once you decided to forgive them, the bad thoughts and anger went away. Maybe you even had a recurring illness, but since forgiving them, you haven’t experienced that illness. That’s because the unforgiveness was hurting you, not them. Most of the time the person you are not forgiving doesn’t feel a thing or isn’t even aware of how you feel.

There is a spiritual root connected to unforgiveness and illness or disease. If you are holding on to unforgiveness, check your heart, pray about how you can forgive that person, and do it immediately. All it takes is a few simple words. Tell your brother (the other person) that you have certain feelings against them, and you need to ask their forgiveness. However, don’t place blame. This is not the time to rehash the incident or issue that caused the ill feelings. Simply let them know how you were feeling, and now you are forgiving them and asking them to forgive you. You’ll be amazed at the relief you will instantly feel.

If they are not accepting of your forgiveness, that is on their shoulders. You were obedient to God’s Word and now you can move on.

If the person you need to forgive is not around to speak to in person, simply forgive them in your heart. You can say a prayer to God, or simply say it in your head from your heart. Even if they have passed away, if you are still holding onto unforgiveness, forgiving them can be done.

Clothes and Kids

Recently Monday nights have been established as sewing night.  Why?  Well, because I need summer clothes!  Mine are pretty worn out at this point – not to mention the fact that our circumstances have changed such that I really need some different types of clothing in my wardrobe.

My husband and I had set aside some tax refund money to go buy new clothes for both of us.  Then we took our kids to their regularly scheduled dentist appointments – and learned that our clothing money (plus a good bit more) would instead be flowing directly into our middle child’s mouth.  Such is life!

God was a step ahead of me, though.  Several months ago my mother-in-law decided that she probably wouldn’t be doing much sewing any more.  Years ago she had given me one of her awesome old sewing machines, and I have used it faithfully.  So, she knew exactly what needed to be done with the rest of her sewing supplies.  They were boxed up, bagged up, packaged up and given to me!  Boxes and bags of material, notions, patterns, and supplies.  Paired with some of the patterns I’d found over the years on those lovely 99 cent sales days, I had a wide range of clothing options available.  So, Monday was set as sewing night and I began replenishing my wardrobe.

The results so far have been wonderful!  Two skirts and two tops have been completed, with a pair of gauchos cut out and ready to sew and three more tops waiting to be cut out and made.  I’ve been thrilled!

The results have also been very interesting.  You see, both skirts have been made from the same pattern but different material.  Both tops have been made from the same pattern but different material.  And, each project has shown very unique results.

The first skirt was very casual – adequate for a Sunday morning with the right top, but just as perfect as a cool every-day summer skirt.  The second skirt was just the opposite.  Elegant and dressy – it ended up being my Easter skirt.  It would not be good for every-day wear.  The same thing happened with the blouses.  One can be every-day casual with the casual skirt or even look great with jeans or khakis.  It can also look nice with the dressy skirt for a Sunday morning.  The other blouse, though, wouldn’t look right with jeans.  It would dress up khakis, but look best with the dressy skirt.

So, what does all of this have to do with parenting?

Our children are very similar to these outfits.  They are similar in that they are children raised by the same parents in the same home with the same genes.  Beyond that, they are very different.

Just as the same style of sewing can result in very different clothing based on the material used, so the same style of parenting can result in very different children depending on their personalities.  And, there are times when the “pattern” used for one type of material or personality will just not work on another no matter how hard we try!

It’s often a struggle as parents to make the adjustment in our parenting styles when our children have such varied personalities.  We think we have one pattern figured out and then along comes a child who totally breaks that particular mold.

The beautiful and amazing thing about it all is that we have a guide.  When I sew, the pattern creators have listed what materials are best for the pattern.  Guidelines are included to show how to make adjustments for materials with a nap or pattern.  I don’t have to stumble through it blindly, wondering why my material just isn’t working for the pattern.

In the same way, God doesn’t insist that we go through parenthood blindly.  He is the Creator of our wonderful children, and He knows exactly how they need to be raised and grown!  He knows what they need to be just who He created them to be.  Sometimes that means we have to adjust our parenting pattern and maybe even let go of some of the goals and dreams we have for our precious little ones.  Sometimes that means we have to release our hard and fast parenting methods.  But it always means we never have to walk it alone.  The Creator has promised wisdom – and gives it freely (James 1:5).

I’ve enjoyed seeing the result of my Monday night work.  But, I must say that seeing the results of the work I put into parenting is phenomenally more rewarding.  That’s a project with eternal significance, and I pray that I will diligently grow in my efforts to follow the pattern set before me by their Creator – the pattern that will lead to absolutely phenomenal results.

Living Diligence

Picture this scenario with me…

You’re a young mother of two school-age kids.  You have always worked to make sure they do their best in school.  They don’t have to make perfect grades, but it’s obvious to you when they slack off, and when they do you ensure that they are appropriately disciplined back to the point where they strive to do their best.  They have come to expect that from you.

Meanwhile, you work for a company that has offered to send you back to school.  It’s a great situation – you get the higher level of education that helps you get those promotions and good salaries, and your company gets an employee who is better equipped to do her job.

The greatest difficulty is that, well, you’re back in school.  Your brain doesn’t soak up information quite as well in your mid thirties as it did when you were in high school and college.  You have work.  You have kids.  And you really need some “me” time at some point through the day.  So, you slack a bit.  Your paper isn’t quite what you would consider your top work, but it’s acceptable.  Your assignments are okay.  But, there is that nagging thought in the back of your mind that even though your boss says all you have to do is pass, you know you could do so much more.

Then the test grades come in.  And you’ve not done well.  Two weeks in a row you’ve not done well.

The worst part?  Your kids know it!  In fact, your son looks at you and says, “Mom, you’re grounded!”

Tell me, how would you have responded to your son in that situation?

My first instinct would have been to chide him for being disrespectful to his mother!  But, in this real-life scenario, this woman was much wiser than that.  She told him he was right.  She “grounded” herself from unnecessary distractions and her grades came up!

As I listened to this friend share her story, I began to ponder how I live before my children.  When I hold them to certain standards, do they look at me and know I hold myself to the same standards?

Unlike this woman, I do not have a paying job.  I’m home with my children all day every day.  When I send them to do their morning chores before they play, do I make sure that I hold to the same standard?  Am I diligent to complete all of my household chores before I go to do my more optional daily activities, my “playing”?

Also unlike this woman, I  homeschool.  I’m not going back to school myself, but I have so many responsibilities related to homeschooling my children and always staying on top of their curriculum.  When I remind them to be diligent and not slack in their work, am I exemplifying that?  Do they see me prepared for school each day or floundering to make sure I have everything we need?  In those moments when they’re doing independent work, am I stealing away to do something I want to do or am I staying engaged so I can help them along at every moment?

Our children are watching us closely.  Their diligence or lack thereof mirrors our own.  If we seem to be having a time where we are struggling just to get them to maintain a basic level of diligence, the first thing we must do is look at our own diligence.  Are we living up to our own standards?  Are we maintaining proper diligence in our own lives?

Teaching our children doesn’t mean that we tell them what to do and then leave them to make their own decisions and deal with their own consequences.  Teaching our children means exemplifying life skills before them and living up to the standards we hold before them.  Success in parenting is born from this diligence!

Taxes

Well this Tuesday I am tackling my taxes. Yeah I know talk about last minute, right? I have actually been working on my taxes for the past week, and it really has been a big reminder that being organized really does pay off. I just keep thinking about all the time I would have saved this past week if I were disciplined enough to keep my tax receipts organized throughout last year.

So this year I plan to get organized in the tax department and I just wanted to share a few tips of mine on how I plan to do this:

Organizing Receipts – I don’t know about you but I am addicted to itemizing everything, and getting every deduction I am entitled to. One of the best tips I have received on getting those receipts organized is to buy one of those expanding file folders and reserve one pocket for each month of the year. Whenever you get a receipt for something that is tax deductible you just place it in the pocket for that month.

Organizing Online Receipts – Last year I started a receipts folder in my email, but honestly that wasn’t specific enough because this year I had to sort through the 2008 and 2009 business receipts. So I got more specific with my folder labels and started a 2009 business receipts and a 2008 business receipts folder. This year I also plan to print up all my online receipts at the end of the month so I don’t spend an entire day printing up receipts for my records.

Tracking Donations – Goodwill is like my favorite place in the whole world. Well not really, but I know our family goes up there to make donations quite a bit. When you are an organizing mom you usually end up with a pile of stuff you simply don’t need. I know with us we donate a lot of clothes, I have three kids, and well ya’ll know how that is! So we donate a lot of stuff to Goodwill and they always ask me if I want a receipt and for some reason I always say NO!

Well this year I plan to take them up on their offer and start counting my donations to Goodwill. I have also found this awesome little tool offered by Turbo Tax called It’s Deductible. With “It’s Deductible” online software you can easily track your donations year round for free. It accurately values your donated items that meeets IRS guidelines, and when it’s tax time you can just import everything to Turbo Tax.

So those are my plans for getting organized for next years taxes. I am always looking for more tips, please feel free to share in the comments below!

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,
Lord I just want to say thank you for your constant provision in my life. Not only that but you are always so gracious even when I certainly don’t deserve it. Lord I just pray for your help to be more disciplined in every area of my life. Asking for the ability to be more disciplined scares me, because it truly is something I personally struggle with, but I know with Your help and guidance we will succeed. I love YOU, and Thank YOU for EVERYthing. My life would be nothing without YOU. I pray this all in your might Son Jesus’ name. – Amen!

***
Heather is a Christian Stay at Home Mom of three and happily married to her loving Firefighter husband, Shaun. Her hobbies consist of blog design and blogging. Heather is the author of the “Christian Moms Guide to Organizing Your Home.” She also keeps herself busy homeschooling her three children and shopping at Target.

When to Start?

It still amazes me how one little conversation with my children can start entire thought processes – thoughts that often seem totally unrelated to the original conversation.

A few weeks ago as we were sitting down at the table to begin our afternoon of school work, I started by sharing several prayer requests.  This is a typical start to our school day, so it was nothing unusual.  But, one of the prayer requests sparked quite a response.  The prayer request was for some people from a sister church who were trying to pull everything together for a mission trip to Poland.

Just to give you a little background, our family is very much drawn to Poland.  Both of my girls would love to take a foreign mission trip, but five-year-old Angela wants nothing more than to hop on a plane and head to Poland.  I’m not sure she begins to comprehend what such a trip would involve or entail, but she’s ready to go!

When I mentioned that we needed to pray for these people who were trying to raise money and work out the details for their mission trip, Angela burst into tears.  When I asked her why she was crying, her answer was simple…”I want to go!”

Her older sister immediately began to process ways to comfort her.  With bright eyes and excitement in her voice, Olivia said, “Maybe we could pray that God would show us ways we could be involved even without actually going with them!  Then it would be like we were there, too!”

My first thought was one of pride that my seven-year-old would think of that.  But, my second thought was a sudden realization that we had already been involved, claiming that we were doing it as a family, but the girls had no idea what we had done!

I explained to the girls that God had given us a chance to help out with some of the fundraising, and they were exceedingly excited.  Their response made me process even further.  How much should we be including them in our family’s financial decisions?

Now, I know a five and seven year old are not wise enough to be major financial decision makers, but by default, we exclude them from having a part in our finances because of their ages.  Through the course of their childhood, we are supposed to be teaching them how to manage their finances God’s way.  Are we supposed to wait until we can trust them with a checkbook to start teaching them financial principles and involving them in family finances?

Looking back over my childhood, I realize that my parents were excellent stewards of their money.  They managed it well, tithed freely, and gave obediently.  But, I also look back and see very little in the way of teaching.  Yes, they taught me how to tithe and instructed me to stay out of debt.  But, a lot of specifics were missing.  Giving to our special denominational missions offerings was never a family affair.  Mom never showed me how she worked out our family budget and evaluated how and when we could afford those “extras.”  In fact, I often wondered how staying out of debt worked with our family’s occasional shopping and spending sprees, especially considering my parents’ low income.  I never was taught how to determine what to do about savings and at what point savings needed to be set aside in favor of the immediate needs of our family.  Mom never showed me how she prioritized or determined amounts.

To be honest, those things would have been very helpful to me.  Over the course of our marriage my husband and I have learned a lot about finances and how to manage them, but we’ve also made a lot of mistakes.  We’ve incurred debt partially due to our desire for certain “stuff” and partially because we hadn’t been taught how to do money God’s way, trusting Him when we had a specific and pressing need that we didn’t think we could afford except by handing over that credit card (and truly distinguishing between wants and pressing needs).  Over the past couple of years, we have made some very solid strides, learned so  many things, and  seen God bless in phenomenal ways.  But, I sometimes wonder…if we’d been specifically and intentionally taught some of the things we’ve learned in our marriage, where would we be today financially?

I don’t want my children to have to flounder through following the example we’re trying to set.  I want them to live out tried and true principles that they’ve been taught!  So, thanks to a little conversation with two sweet little girls, my  husband and I are rethinking family involvement in finances.  And we will continue rethinking and reevaluating through each phase of their lives that they may truly learn rather than vaguely observe!